Model says she won't date 'stingy men' who want to split the bill on dates
The end of a first date can be an awkward affair when the bill lands on
the table. You both attempt to work out how it will be paid using eye
contact only to avoid having the conversation and bringing an awkward
end to the night.
However, an author and model has made her feelings on the issue very clear by warning men that if they expect her to split the bill, they simply won't be seeing her again.
Writing an opinion article on SHESAID , the site's dating expert Peta Serras explains why the expectation of splitting the bill is a bad omen in a piece titled 'I’m just going to say it – guys who split the bill on dates are d*****bags'.
Peta says:
She explains she had never given much thought to 'going Dutch' until a promising first date quickly took a nosedive when it came time to pay and she got the expectant look.
Every date which followed ended the same way, with the man expecting Peta to pay her way 'despite the large pay gap due to his generous salary'.
She says she has no aversion to funding her own expenses but wasn't happy that he insisted on a 50/50 split despite her being the one who had travelled due to living out of town.
Her suggestions of alternating payment instead was brushed off and the final straw came when he asked her to cough up £2.40 for coffee after she had driven 40 minutes to see him.
She argues:
The conversation was sparked in Peta's friendship group when a girlfriend of hers went on a date with a man who took her to one of the 'priciest venues in town'.
She says the man was bragging about his pay packet and insisted on picking from the menu for his date, choosing expensive dishes and pricey wine - before asking to split the painfully large bill at the end.
The group debated whether it's still possible to call yourself a feminist while accepting a free meal from a date.
She finishes by saying that she believes everyone needs to have standards in dating and relationships, and one of her rules is now not to date a 'stingy' man who wants to split the bill.
However, an author and model has made her feelings on the issue very clear by warning men that if they expect her to split the bill, they simply won't be seeing her again.
Writing an opinion article on SHESAID , the site's dating expert Peta Serras explains why the expectation of splitting the bill is a bad omen in a piece titled 'I’m just going to say it – guys who split the bill on dates are d*****bags'.
Peta says:
Splitting the bill on dates sets the precedent for a relationship, one where everything is straight down the middle. And where does that end?
Does that mean we should keep monthly spreadsheets and document when we give sexual favors and how much we give emotionally to ensure we’re even every month?
She explains she had never given much thought to 'going Dutch' until a promising first date quickly took a nosedive when it came time to pay and she got the expectant look.
Every date which followed ended the same way, with the man expecting Peta to pay her way 'despite the large pay gap due to his generous salary'.
She says she has no aversion to funding her own expenses but wasn't happy that he insisted on a 50/50 split despite her being the one who had travelled due to living out of town.
Her suggestions of alternating payment instead was brushed off and the final straw came when he asked her to cough up £2.40 for coffee after she had driven 40 minutes to see him.
She argues:
People always misread me on this topic; call me a gold digger or a princess, but it’s not actually even about the money, it’s about what the money signifies.
And as it turned out with my demanding date, perhaps unsurprisingly, his money wasn’t the only thing he was stingy with.
It was this relationship that made me value generosity and really see that some men use the excuse of splitting the bill to hide their stinginess.
The conversation was sparked in Peta's friendship group when a girlfriend of hers went on a date with a man who took her to one of the 'priciest venues in town'.
She says the man was bragging about his pay packet and insisted on picking from the menu for his date, choosing expensive dishes and pricey wine - before asking to split the painfully large bill at the end.
The group debated whether it's still possible to call yourself a feminist while accepting a free meal from a date.
After all, if we want equal rights, we should be prepared to split the bill equally, right? wrote Peta.
I believe you can still consider yourself a feminist and accept a nice meal from someone. And conversely, you can also be a feminist and buy someone else a meal, too.
It’s when someone uses that term as an excuse to be stingy with their funds that isn’t cool with me, as I feel it says a lot about that person’s character.
Let me be clear on this: if I ask a guy out and go to the effort of arranging the date, then I expect to foot the bill for the whole date.
She finishes by saying that she believes everyone needs to have standards in dating and relationships, and one of her rules is now not to date a 'stingy' man who wants to split the bill.
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