Janet Jackson covers ESSENCE Magazine's July/August issue, talks about battling with depression and finding joy
The 52-year-old singer believes her problems are partly due to feeling "inferior" as a child, while also coming up against racism and sexism but she's grateful she fought her way back from the mood disorder.
She wrote in the new issue of Essence magazine:
I struggled with depression. The struggle was intense. Low self-esteem might be rooted in childhood feelings of inferiority. It could relate to failing to meet impossibly high standards. And of course there are always the societal issues of racism and sexism. Put it all together and depression is a tenacious and scary condition. Thankfully, I found my way through it.
When it comes to happiness, I’m no expert. Jackson writes in the feature story. "I have only my life experience as a guide. I’ve known great happiness and great sadness. But I guess the key question is, What do I really know about happiness?
With a level of candidness she has rarely shown before, Janet revealed her struggles to stop herself from falling into despair.
In my forties: Like millions of women in the world, I still heard voices inside my head berating me, voices questioning my value, she said.
Happiness was elusive. A reunion with old friends might make me happy. A call from a colleague might make me happy. But because sometimes I saw my failed relationships as my fault, I easily fell into despair.
Despite the valleys, the 52-year-old entertainer has managed to navigate life with an enthusiasm and work ethic that’s difficult to match. Now she finds pieces of paradise in her relationship with God, the inspirational people she surrounds herself with, and in the presence of her 1-year-old son Eissa.
The height of happiness is holding my baby son in my arms and hearing him coo, or when I look into his smiling eyes and watch him respond to my tenderness, she continued.
When I kiss him. When I sing him softly to sleep. During those sacred times, happiness is everywhere. Happiness is in gratitude to God. Happiness is saying, ‘Thank you, God, for my life, my energy and my capacity to grow in love.’
From Essence Magazine.
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