Thoughts and Encounters Uncategorized: “I’ll write you”; The lost art of the letter

Welcome to this week's episode of Thoughts and Encounters Uncategorized. This week we have a very interesting write up title The lost art of the letter.

If you were in a boy’s only boarding school in the 90’s like me, then you know the only way to get a girl friend that time was by writing letters. Even if you had a girl friend the only way your friends were going to believe you was if you got a letter from her. Letters were part of the culture; you sent letters on Wednesday, to get letters on Thursday.

If you met a girl you liked, probably during the holidays. You didn’t ask her for her “mobile number” or her “Facebook name” none of that existed in that time. You’d ask for her school and class, the line was never “I’ll call you” or “I’ll text you” it was “I’ll write you”.

Writing the perfect letter was an art, very few students could pull it of single-handedly. Many times if you didn’t know how to write a letter; you didn’t have the bars (right words),You’ll have to go pay someone you trust to help; it had to be someone you trusted because you didn’t want it getting out, you paid someone to write a letter to your girlfriend, that will affect your REP (reputation). I remember in my class the person everyone turned to used to be David Musa, he had bars but most importantly he was very discreet. The payment was seldom money, it was usually things like half of your breakfast or your meat during lunch or your Sunday chicken. Food was our legal tender
After you’ve paid up, the writer will start the letter with something like;

“I remember the first day I saw you,
My heart sank.
The plants were greener suddenly ,
flowers were suddenly  brighter ,
I could scent the world,
it scented like you “

Lame I know, but those were the lines of the times.

Now getting the words were great, the presentation was as important, the devil is in the detail we so famously say. You needed a good hand writing, If you had a great hand writing you were fine but lets face it ,we were boys in secondary school only a hand full of us had good hand writings. So most of us had to pay someone to write the letters for us it had to be spotless, you couldn’t write on any kind of paper it was usually a specially designed, brightly coloured writing sheet (that was my business). when your letter was fully written and you were satisfied. Before you enveloped it, you’ll spray it with the best perfume you can lay you hands on.

We had a prefect who collected the letter ready to be posted, he’ll usually extort something from you before he helped you send your letter.

Sending letters was the easy part, the hard part was waiting for the reply. Letters came to my school on Thursdays during lunch all the junior students shared one dinning hall, all the senior students shared another dining hall. As you ate a prefect would call out your name and ask you to come and pick up your letter right in front of everyone. Depending on his mood he could just call out your name and throw your letter on the floor. So everyone one knew when you got a letter. Some guys got letters every Thursday, anytime the prefects calls their names the whole dinning hall will begin to hail them. The more conservative of us were met with suspicious glares anytime we got a letter. Almost-strangers will begin to inquire “is it your girlfriend’s?”, before you even open your letter some of your friend will begin to call out “let me see?”. It will be wise for you not to open your letter in the dining hall, for you can never really know its content.

Some of the replies were brutal, once a girl replied my senior’s letter with the same letter he sent, only this time she circled all the grammatical errors, spelling errors, punctuation and scored him, with a note “learn how to write before you write to me again” it spelt. the gist was all over the school it didn’t help that he wasn’t a really nice guy. Most people though, were often let down softly with words like “i like you but not in that way”.

But to receive a love letter from a girl was the most heavenly thing that could happen to you in those days. the letter became your most priced possession in the world. Some people knew their love letters by heart just from the share volume of times they read it. Suddenly your level had changed now you had a girl friend no one can touch you. it was amazing.

I miss those times sometimes, I’m often saddened  by the knowledge that my children will never have this experience. Everything is instant these days, everything you do is so immediate ,you send a text, you’re getting a reply immediately, you send a mail you’re get the reply instantly. There’s no waiting, no wondering, no imagination.

Author : Ifeoluwa Osho