Thoughts and Encounters Uncategorized: Would you do a DNA test for you child?

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This week we shall we looking at the topic "Would you do a DNA test for you child?"

It had become a fierce argument between three of us in the room, normally it would be about football or something like that, but this time it was different. it all began from a simple question. would you do a DNA test for you kids after you find out that your wife had cheated on you? One of us was certain he’ll do a test for all his kids. Two of us were not so sure it would be a good idea. None of us were able to convince the other side why our side was right. At least ,we all agreed it would be a terrible position to be in.


I was on the side that didn’t want to do the DNA test. why would i? what if i found out that one of the children wasn’t mine biologically. what do i do then? Do i send the child away? Do i send the mother and the child away? Do i send the child away and forgive the mother? Do i keep the child and send the mother away? How do i explain to this child ‘s siblings that they no longer have a brother or sister? what exactly do i have to gain from that knowledge? why seek for information that can only hurt?

If even the reverse had no respite in my mind; what if i did the DNA and found out that all of our children were biologically mine. Any initial comfort i get from that information will suddenly diminish by the chasm that would have been created between my wife and I, What kind of relationship will I hope to have with her? In a singular action declared to myself and possibly to her that every atom of trust between us was gone. That our relationship had broken down so much that I would have believed she could lie to me about the paternity of our children.

I feel this is why society accepts that the infidelity of a woman is much worse than infidelity of a man; Paternity of a child in the days before genetics was solely built on trust. Men didn’t carry any sign of pregnancy or have to push in the labour room. You only accepted a child was yours because you trusted whoever claimed the child was yours. If a man is unfaithful and reckless enough to have a child out of his matrimonial home any woman could leave him knowing for certain the maternity of her children. if the opposite is the case the man can never be certain of the paternity of the children he considers his. He might wake to the sudden realisation that he doesn’t have a family. No wife ,no Children!

I cant think of a worse position to be in marriage (conceded I lack imagination), I won’t be so brazen to tell you what to do if ever( God forbid) you are in this situation. I would recommend you don’t do a DNA test. If however, you know the ignorance of something like that will eat you up. I’ll advice that you do a DNA test as soon as your child if born before it gets more complicated.
 

Author: Ifeolwa Oshio